Be more like Kurt Vonnegut - 8 ways to be more interesting

In the book Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction, Vonnegut made a list of eight rules for creating a short story.

I would like to repurpose them as:

A list of ways to be more interesting

1. Use the time of a listener in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the listener at least one idea or fact he or she can connect with and root for.

3. Every idea should be supported by the desire to achieve something.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things: reveal character -- in you or the topic -- or advance an action you want the listener to take.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading topic, discuss the awful things that have, will, or could happen - in order that the listener may see what you, or the topic, are made of.

7. Talk to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your listeners as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Listeners should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves.