[Gary] Peeples Helping People, LLC

I've never won an argument

It's true, I haven't. It's hard to win something you've never played.

I avoid them. Like they were TSA pat-downs.

An argument is defined as an oral disagreement, which basically means: you see it one way and I see it another.

Why on earth would I change my mind to yours, or yours to mine, when we fundamentally disagree? It doesn't happen.

Sure you could try to make it happen — maybe with force, or with bribe, or by opening and closing an ironing board over and over again [that would be aweful] — but at the heart of the matter, the belief didn't change.

A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.

In reality, both are likely right; for different reasons. And this may be because:

The things one person has been exposed to in their life has led them to see the world as x;

while the things the other has been exposed to has led them to see it as y.

And asking either to change their mind is like asking them to erase their entire history.

Not to mention, emotion gets tossed into it, which usually creates a downward spiral of defending opinion — often for the sake of saving face. And at this point, you aren't even arguing the topic any longer; you're just trying to win. 

So in this situation, I find it's best to avoid all of that, and instead, try to focus on the points that are mutually agreed upon.

Essentially, I'm suggesting a preemptive compromise that allows both parties to feel they have not conceded; and that they [and their respective opinions] are equally important; and that they both have won.

So how do you do that?

To preemptively compromise, you must first agree to not argue points, but rather discuss your opinions in detail. You then need to find the common ground on which you DO agree.

How do you figure out what you DO agree on?

The easiest way is to ask why(?). Why do you think x? Why do you feel y? Explain your reason(s) for that (those) position(s).

Eventually you will begin to unravel the points you can agree on.

Maybe you agree on the outcome, but not the means -- so you can focus on finding the appropriate means.

Or maybe there are points on one side that may not have been considered on the other; you can focus on those.

Asking why(?), and gaining an understanding of what is fueling the other's opinion, will help lead you to a reasonable preemptive compromise.

Then there is no winner and loser — there are two winners. Like two Charlie Sheens.

And most importantly you can avoid the time-wasting argument all together. And do something more constructive like arts and crafts or play the guitar.

No one ever told me...

Be more successful right now - with this one word

First, here's a list [and videos if you have time] of successful people:

1. Steve Jobs

2. Bill Gates

3. Frank Lloyd Wright

4. Buckminster Fuller

5. James Cameron

6. Mark Zuckerberg

7. Tom Hanks

8. Harrison Ford

9. Lady Gaga

10. Tiger Woods

All completely different personalities, careers, and specialties; but with one common thread: They each have an unmatched PASSION for accomplishing their goals.

Someone once told me:

I never went wrong when I hired the person who wanted it the most.

Want to be more successful? Be more PASSIONATE.

PS. No one on that list graduated College.

The difference between being good and being irreplaceable

My man -- Seth Godin -- nails it in very few words.

The underlying difference between where you are today with your job [or careeer] and where you want to be, might just be in how you are looking at it.

No one has to give you permission to think and react. Just do it. Create your legacy.

Now for a straight-up Seth Re-blog. Sometimes you just gotta, KNOWWHATIMSAYIN?

Are you doing a good job? -- Seth Godin

One way to approach your work: "I come in on time, even a little early. I do what the boss asks, a bit faster than she expects. I stay on time and on budget, and I'm hardworking and loyal."

The other way: "What aren't they asking me to do that I can do, learn from, make an impact, and possibly fail (yet survive)? What's not on my agenda that I can fight to put there? Who can I frighten, what can I learn, how can I go faster, what sort of legacy am I creating?"

You might very well be doing a good job. But that doesn't mean you're a linchpin, the one we'll miss. For that, you have to stop thinking about the job and start thinking about your platform, your point of view and your mission.

It's entirely possible you work somewhere that gives you no option but to merely do a job. If that's actually true, I wonder why someone with your potential would stay...

In the post-industrial revolution, the very nature of a job is outmoded. Doing a good job is no guarantee of security, advancement or delight.

Original post: Are you doing a good job? [via Seth Godin] 

What really motivates employees? [infographic]

This is via Socialcast. I loved it and thought I would share.